David Letterman Delivers Donald Trump Top Ten List

David Letterman, Steve Martin, Martin Short

David Letterman emerged from retirement to deliver a scathing Top Ten list directed at one of his favorite targets: Donald Trump.

The former “Late Show” host made a surprise appearance at Steve Martin and Martin Short’s “A Very Stupid Conversation” event Friday night in San Antonio.

In his first onstage appearance since his final “Late Show” in May. He then expressed regret that his retirement preceded Trump’s presidential run.

"I retired … and I had no regrets. None. I was happy," the 68-year-old said. "I was complacent, I was satisfied, I was content."

“And then a couple of days ago, Donald Trump said he was running for president," he told the cheering crowd. "I have made the biggest mistake of my life, I tell you."

The NY Daily News reports Letterman reached into his suit pocket to take out an envelope, quipping, “Every suit I own comes with a Top Ten list.”

David Letterman's Top Ten Interesting Facts About Donald Trump:

10. That thing on his head was the gopher from “Caddyshack.” 

9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name. 

8. Donald Trump looks like the guy on the lifeboat with the women and children. 

7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around the thing on his head? 

6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bull ... oh no wait, that’s me. 

5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds — 250 with cologne. 

4. Trump would like all Americans to know that thing on his head is free range. 

3. If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, he plans to evict the family on Thanksgiving.
(tied with)
That’s not a hairdo, it's a wind advisory. 

2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans that he's starring in a movie called "No Amigos." 

1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an a--.